Weekly Insights: Living "Whole and Healed"...

What does it mean to live a "whole and healed" life? What does a "whole and healed" person's life look like? We know that perfection doesn't exist on the physical plane, so is it possible to be "whole and healed"? Healing pain and trauma doesn't mean that it is completely gone forever. The mind teaches us that memories never completely go away, but that time and space can help us move forward despite the painful memories that come and go. Healing manifests when the pains of our past are no longer controlling our actions and behaviors of the present and future in a destructive way. Whether it be through addictions, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, failed relationships, or anger and resentment issues, escapism is a sign that we have a lot more work to do to heal ourselves.

A "whole and healed" being understands that it is vital that there is true alignment, both on the inside and the outside. By accepting ourselves, the things that have happened to us, and all of the traits that both help and hinder us, is not to say that all of the darkness has dissolved, but instead that we have chosen to engage in the Light by shining it on the truth every day. It is impossible to grow and develop when we haven't accepted ourselves first. No more hiding, no more proving ourselves, and no more faking it to perform for others. A "whole and healed" version of ourselves has integrated the good, the bad, and the ugly, and transmuted it all into wisdom. It is not walking around like an open wound, taking it out on others, and holding a chip on our shoulders. It is not asking for permission to be who we are, but instead, aligning to who we are fully and completely. Real "healing" is embodying our true and authentic selves. This is the way we are able to walk in step with our destiny.

When we say we are "healed", we still struggle, grieve, feel pain, and experience fear and anger. Pain doesn't just go away completely, but we are able to recover from it much more quickly with conscious awareness, honesty, and openness. One of the big things a "healed" person has is the ability to be happy without guilt or shame. There is a desire to Love and care for oneself, while remaining open, vulnerable, and grateful for life. There is no need to project pain onto others, blame others, or draw anyone into our suffering. Suffering becomes the sacrifice made to gain the wisdom that results in the process of feeling "whole and healed". The Yin and Yang manifest together to give birth to a higher energy of harmony and balance.

We can look at the world we live in today and see how much healing society needs by how we treat ourselves and one another. Projection, denial, chaos, and disruption guide the parts of society that has chosen to avoid the inner work and direct suffering outwardly instead. To have peace within, in our homes, in our communities, and in our society, we have to work on the parts of us that are fragmented, sick, and suffering from the past. There is no separation between our lives, our health, and our happiness. It is all interconnected and vital to being part of a healthy world. Each of us is one aspect of the greater whole, and just like our bodies, when one part is sick, it affects the entire being. To confidently make the best choices and be a healing presence for ourselves and to others, each of us has to be honest with ourselves and face life with neutrality and the knowing that there is no "good" or "bad", but instead there are opportunities to grow and learn. Every learning experience brings us back to ourselves, and when we are true to who we are and choose to face life honestly and humbly, then we are able to experience true healing. True healing invites in authenticity and the ability to feel whole and complete. The key, the lock, and the door is all inside. All we have to do is stay present, connect both inwardly and outwardly to reality, and choose to learn and grow from our experiences instead of falling victim to them.

A life with purpose is a life lived with intention. We have to have accountability for ourselves, practice healthy boundaries, and have an openness to changing the ways we think and how we perceive our lives. Based on what we have learned and how we evolve over time, we are able to shift our thinking to adjust to new information. This is how we move toward healing because no one is all-knowing. The lessons of a lifetime don't come to an end until our last breath. We are blessed to have the opportunity to choose how we wish to live our lives. When we choose Love, Love chooses us back. Becoming "whole and healed" is a choice, not a condition. No one can live our lives for us. We have to get up and choose to be happy, to Love, to keep our hearts open, and to choose what aligns to us each day by deciding to live that realty. We can look to others for inspiration and support, but ultimately each of us has to be willing to acknowledge the truth and make changes when needed. Trauma is painful and leaves deep scars. Betrayal hurts the entire being on many levels. Self-destructive behaviors are easy to hide from the world, but easy to engage in when trying to avoid feeling pain. Even though no one asks to be hurt, once a wound has been created, it is impossible to take it back.

The wounded person has to make a choice whether to carry that pain around and wear it like a cloak, or to use it to learn, grow, evolve, and transform into a wiser, stronger, and more resilient version of the self. We get to choose to either continue the cycle of pain or transmute that pain into a new beginning. Instead of abandoning ourselves, we can choose to embrace all aspects of who we are and heal through the process of self-Love. Oneness with all beings starts with oneness with ourselves. It's embracing the positive and negative traits and understanding how the Yin and Yang plays out in our lives. Life is a paradox, and so is the healing process. Processing pain brings peace, and suffering gives birth to wisdom. Being "whole and healed" is a daily direction we choose with our ability to forgive, hold healthy boundaries, practice discipline, grieve our losses, speak honestly, ask for help when we need it, admit being wrong when we are, apologize when it is appropriate, and align with the truth no matter how it affects us personally. No one can create or destroy healing and wholeness for anyone else. It is a choice to align with oneself in a deep, sacred, and honest way. When we allow for the process of becoming ourselves to happen, then we are on the path to becoming "whole and healed". It starts and ends with the self.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

- Oscar Wilde