Weekly Insights: The Journey of Ho'opono'pono...

The Eclipse Season asks us to forgive and let go. It sounds so easy, but what if it is one of the most difficult things to imagine, let alone do? Forgiveness is an inside job, and it has no timeline or course of direction. Ultimately, we forgive to free ourselves from the attachments we have to the pain we experienced. Once we truly forgive and let it go, we are liberated from the past and can fully appreciate the present.

Ho'opono'pono is a practice of daily forgiveness. Everyday at sunset, people go to nature (the ocean, the mountains, etc) and release the energies of the day by forgiving oneself and others for all wrong doing. It helps the heart and nervous system, calms the mind so it can rest through the night, and brings peace to the being by letting go of the worries of the day.

It can be instant or it can take years to feel all of the emotions around the situations we are forgiving. There are many different stages to getting there, including recognition of pain, rage, grief, self-compassion, or numbness. These stages can repeat themselves many times before we find ourself at peace with ourselves again. The first thing we have to do is acknowledge what happened that needs forgiveness. If we never choose to look at these things and deal with them head on, then we will have a harder time moving past them. The idea of "making things right" for ourselves begins with complete transparency about what is "wrong". This can be through internal processing, meditation, journaling, counseling, therapies, or other outlets of self-expression. We have to be able to speak our truth and voice our experiences because that is a big part of moving forward.

Each of us has to face our inner demons alone, and no one can do this work for us. As an inside job, we have to start the journey of forgiveness within. We need to forgive ourselves for being a victim, not speaking up sooner, not acting differently, not saying the right things, not doing the right things, not knowing any better, for giving our power away, or for making a "big mistake" in the story of our forgiveness journey. This self-guilt trap we set ourselves up for is another important aspect of the healing process that needs to be addressed.

Healthy boundaries with both space and time provides the platform to heal. Forgiving someone doesn't mean they get to be in our lives. That is a decision that every individual situation defines for itself. Sometimes the physical, emotional, and energetic space sets the stage for forgiveness to take place. What matters is that we are not attached to a specific outcome. By letting go of expectations, we allow our own healing process manifest as it wishes. It's important to let go of the need to wait for that apology that might never come, or that legal justice that may never manifest. Those results are not what define the forgiveness journey. It is only in our daily amends with ourselves, and then with others, that we can hold the space for the true healing to happen.

Since memories are stored in our cells, they live inside of us and can pop up here and there to remind us that they are there. This is why a physical release is also key in fully letting go and healing completely. Massage Therapy, Energy Work, working out, Inner Child Healing, artistic expression, movement therapies, and being real with ourselves throughout the process sure can help, but ultimately, each of us has our own journey to walk.

One day at a time, we can practice these simple words at sunset and process the situation that is calling for forgiveness, and breathe away the stress, anger, and pain associated with it... Ho'opono'pono - forgiveness frees the heart.

"I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I Love You."