Elder Care Spotlight: Caregiver Advice - Tools To Help Get Through Each Day Feeling Successful...

Being a caregiver for an elderly person is one of the most challenging things we can take on as humans. We are basically taking care of an adult child that has sometimes lost the ability to think, do basic self-care, and act like the adult we have been so used to interacting with our entire lives. We not only have to cope with losing a parent or family member in their role as an emotional supporter, but we have to process the dramatic shifts that our Loved ones have been experiencing that requires us to change our interactions with them forever. At times, it can feel like we are the only ones who could possibly care for them, but this is what therapists coin as "codependency". It is good to take breaks and allow outside energies to come in and take over here and there. Not only does this help the elderly family member to become less reliable on just one person to help them, but it also offers the space for them to respond differently. The elderly family member needs to participate in conversations with someone new, and work with them to create new healing routines. Every caregiver needs a break here and there, and bringing in outside help allows them to mix things up and move through challenging emotions with the space needed to gain new perspectives on their situation. Overall, a "sub" in caregiving can be a deal-breaker. They are the much-needed supporters to help break up the days, weeks, months, and years in order to feel some normalcy in living the out the goals, dreams, and higher visions of the heart. It is a time for the caregiver to rediscover who they are, and reconnect with their past and what they used to Love to do in order to feel harmonized and balanced. Every caregiver has to remember why they chose to do this work because it helps to promote a positive attitude and longevity in this sometimes taxing act of service.

There is not one elderly person that desires to be a burden on their family. It is very difficult for them to see their faculties weaken and observe themselves having to rely on the help of others so much more. This is why it is not helpful for the caregiver to react with anger when frustrated with their elderly family member. There are factors like dealing with health insurance and bureaucracy, soiled linens or furniture, spills, falls, family turmoil, and much more that can become "inflamed" and cause things to feel much more difficult. Frustration is going to happen once in a while, but the better that caregivers are at managing their emotions, the better the energy becomes between them and their elderly family member.

It is most important for caregivers to take time for themselves here and there. Self-care is crucial in the longevity of a caregiving role. Whether it comes in small breaks throughout the day, or an entire day when someone is hired to come in and take over, space away is important for both the caregiver and the elderly family member. Caregivers need to understand and then remember regularly that they are not perfect and they never will be. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one is good at everything. In order to be a caregiver, one must be able to wear many hats. Sometimes they are stronger in some areas and weaker in others, but they do their best and that is what matters the most. It can be helpful to journal the little wins, and vent the losses. Each day, caregivers have to celebrate all of the accomplishments they have made, while having compassion for themselves in the areas that they have fallen behind. Tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to do better. Today, they only need to stay present and remember how important they are to their elderly family member. With Love, all things are possible. Creator never gives us more than we can handle, and each day this is a great thing to remind ourselves. Caregivers are strong and resilient, and this too shall pass. Stay Light, be kind to oneself, and just Love one another. Everything else will work itself out over time.