Elder Care Spotlight: The Difficult Choice To Shift To Bed-Bound Care...

From walking assistance with a cane or a walker, to wheelchair support, when an elderly person does not walk much or use their legs, we may slowly watch them decline and lose strength. The less they can move, the more the caregiver needs to give physical support, until a point gets reached that the caregiver is getting injured or unable to help in the ways that are needed the most. It can be very difficult to make the choice to transition the elderly person to being bed-bound. We don't want to see our Loved ones struggle or suffer in any way. However, when it comes to safety and support, every caregiver has to make difficult choices that protect their elderly Loved ones from injuries. The question becomes, "How can I care for my elderly family member in the most safe, compassionate, and responsible ways possible with the body's current ability to move?"

Before reaching this point, many other options need to be exhausted. Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Home Health Care, and other outside helpers are the first step. Inside the house, walkers, wheelchairs, lift belts, mechanical lifts, bedside commodes, and other physical tools are next. The more equipment, the more support. As a caregiver, an important element to consider is that self-care is also a type of caregiving for the elderly person. This is because any injury to the caregiver could take away from the services of caregiving, and then the elderly person would not have care at all. Caregiving can be helping someone get from one place to another, but it can also be acknowledging that the transfer is becoming too unsafe to continue. Both of these things are acts of care in different ways.

Being the one to make decisions like this can feel very heavy. However, when acting from a place of Love, compassion, and care, making the safest plan will help to Lighten the energies between the caregiver and the elderly person. It's never a bad idea to consult the nurses, doctors, or other care professionals working with the elderly to bounce ideas off of each other. At the end of the day, the safest choice is the best choice, and caregivers often times know the best choice long before other care workers notice.

As a caregiver, we only want the best for our elderly Loved ones. We sometimes believe that the ability to get out of bed and perform tasks that everyone else does daily is a way to help them preserve their dignity. However, dignity doesn't have to be measured by whether someone can do the same things they used to or not. It comes from being treated with Love, respect, gentleness, privacy, compassion, and care. Once pain, risk of injury, or fear of falling is involved in getting our elderly Loved ones up, then continuing this behavior is no longer serving the greater good. Caregivers are not regulators, but we are rational decision-makers that have to learn discernment and practice critical thinking to make the best possible choices for those in need under our care.

As we approach different markers that cause shifts in the way we can care, we may feel like grieving to the ways that can no longer be. It becomes most evident that pushing to keep things the way they are is not as important as being safe and comfortable. Just because the elderly Loved one is not getting up and out of bed, doesn't mean they have to stop living. Music, touch, sharing memories, photos, scents, and being present together are still valuable assets to them. Life is not over, it is just shifting into a different phase. Be gentle with each other and listen to the heart. Have faith that the right timing will be known for all who help as caregiving supporters.