Elder Care Spotlight: Who's There At the End When There Is Nothing Left To Give?...

For some people, the end of life is a very lonely time. They may have a terminal disease or have lost their bodily functions and/or memories completely. Whatever the circumstances, not everyone leaves the Earth with all their faculties in tact and with a large savings account to give to family and friends. What happens when you can't take care of yourself and you have no money or assets to give to anyone? Who is there for us at our most vulnerable time of life?

The true colors of Loved ones become clear when there is nothing to gain out of the relationship. The end of life is a very vulnerable time, and we need more than we are able to give. When someone can be present and give while knowing that they will not receive anything in return, then the relationship is based on truly caring for one another. We sometimes see this displayed in our long-time friends, certain family members, people in the community, or a caregiver from one's past. There are public resources as well, when all else fails. Families may utilize these resources if they feel they cannot meet the needs of their elderly member whether that be emotionally or physically.

The truth is, we entered this world alone and we will leave alone. Our family, dear friends, and Loved ones don't owe us anything, and wisdom tells us that we will always learn the Truth at the end of our lives. Whether they feel they can or cannot be present to help or decide that they do or don't want to be supportive, each person we Love gets to decide what their role will be in our lives, God forbid we cannot help ourselves at the end of our lives, we can always be neglected or even forgotten by those who are in a relationship with us based on getting something in return. Even if society doesn't assign value to those who are the most vulnerable, the values of kindness and compassion are choices that we all get to make. When we honor and find value in a person who has lived a long and full life, contributing their gifts and energies for so many years, we allow them to transition from this world with dignity. Love that lasts beyond the decline of our Loved ones can be based on empathy, moral duty, a sense of loyalty/responsibility, and/or affection. Either way, we are truly blessed to have someone in our lives willing to step up and offer comfort and support in this most vulnerable time of life. That is something to be grateful for because it truly is a great blessing!